Monday, December 31, 2012

一年容易又過去

I return in my thoughts to those I had met then. What has become of them? If Diogenes is no longer alive, it may well be that his sons are fighting. And strong, stocky, courageous Farrusco? Even if he did survive, he would be too old now to be in the trenches. But I remember him saying that a son had just been born to him. So if I were to meet a young officer on the Angolan front these days, ask him his name, and hear that it's Farrusco, I would answer: Years ago, I rode in a jeep with someone who had the same last name. Yes, the young officer would concur, that was my father.

And tall, silent Commandante Ndozi? Ndozi is no longer alive. He was blown up by a mine. Monti was also blown up by a mine. Powerful, cheerful Batalha as well. In these wars, enemies see each other face-to-face less and less frequently. They perish as they walk, while everything around them is empty and quiet. Death comes at them covertly, lying in wait under some sand, beneath a stone, under a clump of blackthorn. The earth was once the source of life, a granary, something desirable. Now, in these parts, man regards the earth suspiciously, distrustfully, with fear and loathing. With happened to Oscar? Perhaps he survived, and has retired. I would so much like him to have a good and peaceful old age. And Gilberto? I don't know, I cannot say. Felix? I also don't know. People disappear without a trace, so completely and irretrievably, first from the world, and then from our memory. 

And Dona Cartagina? I am almost afraid to think about it. What if she is no more? But this seems impossible. Without Dona Cartagina, I cannot imagine either Luanda, or Angola, or this whole war. That is why I am convinced that should you be Luanda, sooner or later you will meet a grey-haired old woman walking in the morning towards the Hotel Tivoli. She will be hurrying, because, just like every other day, a lot of cleaning awaits her. If you stop her and inquire, 'Excuse me, are you Dona Cartagina?' the woman will stop for a moment, look at you with surprise, and then politely answer, 'Yes, it is I.'

And she will continue briskly on her way.



Saturday, December 15, 2012

A Corps Perdu

寫在世界末日前:
2012年學會最寶貴的一課是
呢個世界無話無咗邊個唔得嘅
世界的中心,原來都係自己
最重要的,原來係要對得起自己
然後每天就不會白過
即使下星期就是末日
也沒有甚麼好後悔的
在丟失我的法文之前
為中法音樂交流出點力吧


Puisque des filets nous retiennent 天羅地網逃不出
Puisque nos raisons nous enchaînent 理智情由掙不脫
Que rien ne brille sous nos remparts 戰線上不再見閃光
Et puisqu'on n'atteint pas le ciel 天空沒太遠觸不到
A moins de s'y brûler les ailes 翅膀燒掉才飛不起
Et suivre les routes où l'on s'égare 沿迷失的路走下去
Comme on dresse un étendard 像旗幟升永不回頭

A corps perdu, ivre et sans fard 我專心一意 心醉神往
Pour n'être plus le pantin d'un espoir 不再淪為希冀的玩偶
Et si la vie n'est qu'une cause perdue 即使一生注定是場敗仗
Mon âme est libre d'y avoir enfin cru 只要我相信 靈魂就得自由
A corps perdu 我全心全意

Puisque les destins sont les mêmes 你我命運他朝相同
Que tous les chemins nous ramènent 但願前行都能走到
A l'aube d'un nouveau départ 旅程啟航那個晨曦
On n'apprend rien de nos erreurs 怎可永遠一錯再錯
A moins de s'y brûler le coeur 燒掉了心才記不住
Je suivrai les routes où l'on s'égare 沿著迷路我走下去
Comme on dresse un étendard 像旗幟升永不回頭

A corps perdu, ivre et sans fard 我全心全意 心醉神往
Pour n'être plus le pantin d'un espoir 不再淪為希冀的玩偶
Et si la vie n'est qu'une cause perdue 即使一生注定是場敗仗
Mon âme est libre d'y avoir enfin cru 只要我相信 靈魂就得自由
A corps perdu 我全心全意
A corps perdu 我一心一意

A corps perdu j'écrirai mon histoire 全心全意 我寫我的故事
Je ne serai plus le pantin du hasard 不再淪為命運的玩偶
Si toutes les vies sont des causes perdues 即使一生注定是場敗仗
Les hommes meurent de n'avoir jamais cru 匆匆一生 只因從不相信
De n'avoir pas vécu ivres et sans fard 只因從未活過 - 心醉神往
Soldats vaincus pour une guerre sans victoire 輸掉一場沒有勝利的戰爭

Et si ma vie n'est qu'une cause perdue 即使一生注定是場敗仗
Je partirai libre d'y avoir au moins cru 最少我相信 就可活得自由
A corps perdu 我一心一意
A corps perdu... 全心全意

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

不想說明

親愛的T,

我想,我把我們的對話記錄在此,你應該不會反對的,大概你不會看我這個只有文字沒有圖片的博客,對你來說這太悶了。

有一天你來電問我,你的一個朋友要去台北旅行,要我推介甚麼好玩的地方。這下子我開始頭疼了,先得了解一下你的朋友啊--Well 那個要去旅行的,原來是你的同事--那她性格喜好如何呢--普通正常的啦,我都不太清楚--那她比較喜歡觀光血併還是要看點地道的東西吶--我不曉得啊,她就問我去台北玩大概要個多少天有啥東西玩--
啊啊啊啊啊!那還不簡單嘛!給她買一本旅遊書不就行嗎?上百個景點讓你挑哩!可旅行不是追景點啊,每天追趕預設定的行程表的不叫旅行,只從旅遊書裡找景點吃喝玩樂的填滿行程也不叫旅行啊!
唉!其實每個人旅行想要去的地方都不一樣,我之所欲亦非汝之所求耶。去巴黎你愛逛香榭麗舍我愛遊地下骷髏場,去巴賽羅那我每晚看音樂噴泉你去魯營看球星練波,去開羅你去騎駱駝我搭地鐵到尾站行平民區,去杜拜你去卡里法登高我去舊城飲奶茶,我又如何介紹好地方與你的好同事呢? 天下間你又找到幾多個同你志趣相投的好旅伴呢?

越說越遠了,說到尾,去旅行還是一個人好,計劃旅行也是親力親為好。

Cheers。
KE

Monday, January 09, 2012

行萬里路

常言道讀萬卷書不如行萬里路,但,萬里路要走到哪裡?

繼上回獨走高流灣之後,開始迷上一個人行山(兒童勿仿)。且看上回感想:

身處四野無人之山頭,接連走了一個小時亦未見行人,身邊只有蟬鳴蟲叫踏草聲風吹葦草動,天地蒼茫之感如獨處旺角街頭人堆中。且前恐行錯路後恐無船搭要摸黑折返,一念於此無限風光跌落山堪稱死得其所正好了結三千煩惱,又念天大地大余渺小之軀所載之情關愛禍紅塵夢亦不過爾爾,縱然當初辛苦追逐何苦死鑽牛角尖?

此後數次獨行,不論遠足或踏車,只求一種感覺:當身處臨難之際,心神自必集中,忘卻一切雜念,否則或遇溺墮崖,或粉身碎骨。看官或許會問:何需冒性命之虞?答曰:余若可安坐家中,望天花而忘其憂,何以稱之為憂?

而隨時日遠去,心神逐漸平復,是日踏足馬屎洲只為逃離蝸居。略閱地圖,得知小島東西岸各有小徑,惟於北岸需綑邊而行。區區半公里不足掛齒,便貿然起行。東北岸一段灘闊石矮極其易走,轉西北岸後灘岸被淹且怪石林立,施展美猴王功夫踏岩跳石尚可應付,離岸五十米處有四五扁舟,船上釣魚郎想必以余為樂。惟汝等之樂非余之樂耶!遠足凡十載有餘,余未嘗落入如斯境地,亂石盡處只見紅樹群挺立,只得拉著樹枝貼水而行,又嘗向山上覓路,只見眾樹橫生,枝葉交織,上走不足十步即被逼折返岸邊,闖關三四次仍不得去路。至某處水淹過紅樹樹根,前無去路,旁無僻徑,只得折返。回頭一望,蓋因海水猛漲,來時所踏之石群已所餘無幾。至此余在水中央,有如身處馬爾代夫某個下一秒將遭沒頂之島嶼,又有如荒島劫後餘生但獨欠排球乙個,身上且有水無糧無電筒無大褸,正是今夜不知怎麼過... 慌惶片刻,即有船家經過,大叫截停,方便之極,相信於彌敦道截的士之速度亦有所不及!目睹余之困境,船上乘客稱奇中不忘訕笑,船家更苛索六十大洋,肉隨砧板上只好就範,綑邊之旅失敗告終。

經此一役,發覺我委實盲目地過分有信心,而且遇困難不會輕言放棄,幾乎令自己身處萬劫不復之地。但,一旦發現前無去路,即馬上放棄。這一天簡直是我一年生活的縮影!

怎樣才算走完萬里路?我想,走到自己的心裡就夠了。

攝於亂石堆旁